Chapter 17: A Small-Town Girl (OOC)

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Darker

HVB wrote:

Weird guy walks into bar, sits next to complete stranger, "hey baby, what's in that drink? I mean seriously, werewolves murder everything, amirite. Now tell me what you know about goblins cause you're short like them so I know you know."
This exact conversation is why I don't go to bars anymore...


That captures Avar perfectly. Then end it with, "Oh yeah, Go Empire!"
Board Rider
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Hahaha....I guess you could read it that way. That's not exactly what is going on but you can certainly jump into the conversation pool and make everything better.

Fixxxer
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HVB wrote:

Weird guy walks into bar, sits next to complete stranger, "hey baby, what's in that drink? I mean seriously, werewolves murder everything, amirite. Now tell me what you know about goblins cause you're short like them so I know you know."
This exact conversation is why I don't go to bars anymore...

This exact conversation? I suddenly find myself wanting to know which bars you used to frequent.

Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

Knowledge local on the food maybe? Also, does Garren want to chip in with the diplomacy?

I rolled 1d20+5, the result is 13, 5 = 18.
HVB

Quote:

Also, does Garren want to chip in with the diplomacy

I think Garren is relying on his natural je ne sais quoi.

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Board Rider wrote:

Knowledge local on the food maybe?

Avar has never heard of any customs among the local halflings to the effect that eating with them or accepting gifts from them obliges you in any way.

The fact that these little guys are offering eyeballs to Avar as "the best part" is a little weird for Avar's sensibilities, because Aureshan culture has a food taboo against mammal eyeballs (fish eyeballs are okay with all but the most fastidious eaters, but most Aureshans draw a line at ocular tissue from anything that can, for lack of a better word, scream).

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

That the eyeball is a sort of honored guest right tickles my memory a bit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGVdYiM5IXw

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Indeed.

It's also a Pratchett reference.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Darker

This is where Alannah brushes over Kya's biceps and comments how much she must workout.

deadDMwalking
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I don't know if anyone has seen Apocalypto, but there is an early scene (probably the first) where a band of hunters kill a Tapir. One of the hunters is given the testicles as a 'special treat' in part because it is supposed to help with fertility. It turns out to be a pretty disgusting part to eat... This could be part of a jokey set up.

Regarding Diplomacy, Garren is generally too direct and too severe to be very good at it. The character is based in part on a school principle that I liked, but that doesn't say much. (Mr. Brooks, Taft Elementary Orange CA circa 1989).

Here goes (literally) nothing.

Diplomacy
I rolled 1d20-1, the result is 8, -1 = 7.
Board Rider
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Well, at least Avar can add horse eyeballs to his list of culinary experiences.

MinusInnocence
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I already removed 1gp for Oskav's room at the inn. How much for dinner?

"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats." - H.L. Mencken

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Standard fare costs 3 cp; this includes a mug of cumis or tea. Stable accommodations for your mount cost 1 sp/night, covering fodder and basic grooming.

Additional beverages over and above those included in the meal service, as well as other amenities, are shown at https://www.dndarchive.com/comment/22933#comment-22933.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

MinusInnocence
MinusInnocence's picture

We'll call it another gold piece even and paint the town red. I want Oskav soggy, sore and not sure if he should be regretful tomorrow morning. His horse, too. Fuck that horse.

"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats." - H.L. Mencken

Talanall
Talanall's picture

The way things are going, it's probably good that Oskav isn't a tall woman.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Also, what did this horse do to Oskav, other than just exist?

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

MinusInnocence
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Glitterhoof's crimes are so profane and egregious all horses must bear the same mark of shame.

With enough ari, Oskav hopes the new horse could be mistaken for a particularly tall woman. That way everyone can enjoy punishing it for the sins of its brother.

"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats." - H.L. Mencken

Talanall
Talanall's picture

This one is a gelding. So I guess he could count that as punishment. Maybe.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

HVB

So, safe to assume everyone's going to be shitfaced and we'll have one fewer horse by the time Alannah and kya come back??? Haha

Talanall
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The horse probably is going to be fine, and I suppose Chuul might not indulge. Or maybe he'll have a couple, but stop in time to be a voice of sanity restraint.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

When the orc barbarian is the voice of sanity, you know things're fucked.

By night's end, Chuul will use the sauna. Unless pressed by the halflings to try the ari, he won't indulge beyond the drink he has now and will drink water with dinner.

Board Rider
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How much for the horse head and ari?

Talanall
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By the time Avar finished up with the halflings, I guess everyone was at least four shots deep into the ari. Figure it's priced like table wine (on the one hand, it's distilled, but on the other hand it's brewed out of something the halflings have lots of and don't have to trade for). So drinks came to 2 gp, 5 sp, 6 cp for them. Avar imbibed a similar amount, so figure that his servings came to 3 sp, 2 cp. We'll call that a total of 2.88 gp for drinks.

The horse head and its trimmings cost just pennies, by comparison. We'll call it 0.24 gp.

If Avar's picking up the tab for his new friends, it comes to 3.12 gp in total to cover drinks and food. His desired non-horsemeat cuisine will set him back a whopping 3 cp in addition to that. So 3.15 gp.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Also, Avar is queasily sure that if he ever sees Darragh again after this, the little pervert is going to turn out to have been in earnest about going to the big city to chase tall women with his help.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

deadDMwalking
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I'm deducting 5 to cover Avar and the Halflings meals with generous tips.

Board Rider
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I already changed my sheet DDMW. Avar offered, so he will pay.

Talanall
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If Garren really wants to eat a bullet for Avar, he should just stick around and continue to buy these little guys drinks until they decide that he'll be a better tour guide in Port Hope.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

deadDMwalking
deadDMwalking's picture

5 GP to that effect, then. Or maybe so they get blackout drunk and don't remember anything we talked about.

Darker

Curious to hear what the others have gotten themselves into when they come back in, Alannah casts tongues preemptively before entering so she can overhear the halflings speak and possibly talk them out of whatever awfulness she assumes her companions have gotten themselves into.

Talanall
Talanall's picture

"I can't believe you got him to eat BOTH of the eyeballs! That was amazing!"

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Talanall
Talanall's picture

I think we're about to run out the useful lifespan of this segment of roleplay. Let's have a Gather Information check from Alannah to see what she can glean from Darragh and the halflings in the way of Eulan Barnstead's likely whereabouts. Since Garren seems to be inclined to stick around and drink with these halflings, he can use the aid another action (or make his own Gather Information check if he has a specific line of information he wants to obtain for himself). I think MinusInnocence said that Oskav also plans to stick around and contribute to the evening's bad decisions. So he's also at liberty to make these checks.

If anyone has business to take care of before the party turns in for the night and I move ahead to the next interlude, this is a good time to mention it to me.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Darker

Here's Alannah's super poor attempt at gathering info.

I rolled 1d20+1, the result is 4, 1 = 5.
HVB

Kya has nothing else of note to add for the evening...just gonna memorize her spells.

deadDMwalking
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Assist...

Gather Info
I rolled 1d20-1, the result is 17, -1 = 16.
MinusInnocence
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Oskav will also assist.

Gather Information (aid another)
I rolled 1d20-2, the result is 20, -2 = 18.

"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats." - H.L. Mencken

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Between the three of them, Alannah, Oskav and Garren manage to get Darragh and his friends drunk enough to speak freely without also becoming debilitatingly drunk.

The halflings eventually divulge that Eulan Barnstead's clan is already defending its summer grazing territory against goblinoid attacks. Clan Barnstead's slice of the plains lies east by northeast from Winterhome. As a tribal chieftain, Eulan almost certainly is involved in the fighting, and will have mustered not only his own clan but also Behir tribesmen who aren't kin to him at all.

Halflings rely on mobility in warfare, so finding him is going to be a matter of getting closer, asking anyone they meet, getting closer, asking again, just missing him because he moved, following, asking again, etc. It would be easier later in the summer, because there are only so many water sources in the high steppes that don't run dry seasonally, and he'd be compelled to water his men and mounts at those. But by the time "later" happens, he could be dead, or have been pushed west into the steppes because the goblins overwhelm him. For now, he could be bouncing around literally anywhere in that general area. So really, these halflings can't provide meaningful advice about how to find him, beyond, "Go in this general direction and ask around, or wait until he can't move as freely."

He probably will not have his collection of bone carvings with him. The halfling clans are seminomadic, and by this time the noncombatants will have been evacuated westward in wagons, along with most of their goods. Probably he'll keep a few favorite pieces with him, because that's just the kind of guy he is, but the overwhelming majority will be packed off to relative safety.

I rolled 1d4+1, the result is 3, 1 = 4.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Darker

Out of curiousity, how close is the estimated location of Eulan to the lair of mama dragon? Is Eulan essentially in the foothills of the same mountain range that the lair is located in?

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Yes. But having said this, the mountains are on a scale comparable to the Italian Alps, and Eulan is probably somewhere low in the foothills of the western side of these mountains. Getting to the dragon's lair would require you to ascend even higher into the foothills, cross the actual mountains, and then descend into the foothills on the other side and find the lair. The goblinoids all live somewhere up there, so you'd have to get past them, either by sneaking or by killing your way through the higher bits of the western foothills.

Once past the goblinoids, you would need to find a way across the mountains. There certainly are passes through these mountains, so that wouldn't be impossible. But the two "easy" passes are up north at Emerald Hollow, leading to the tiny village of Dryfangs, and in the south, leading from Port Hope over to Lands End. The southern pass is (usually) open even in the wintertime, but the pass at Emerald Hollow is seasonal. In general, the passes that aren't in common use are disused for good reason: they're infested with monsters, feature rugged terrain, follow a circuitous route, or are at very high elevations that make for difficulties with altitude sickness and/or weather. The desert path that the Bastards were considering before is probably the easiest way, just on the basis that the challenges it presents are of such a nature that you can solve them with magic and contingency planning.

This is much less true of a mountaineering expedition; even the "easy" passes are such poor options that literally the first thing the Aureshan Empire did upon arriving was to set up a port to avoid having to rely exclusively on them.

This is the situation that obtains all around the western, northern and eastern borders of the Mereflow Valley, in fact; the analogy I made to the Italian Alps is pretty apt, in the sense that both places are separated from the mainland by a sort of half-ring of mostly impassable mountains. The dwarves at Merethrone and the elves in the western forests don't maintain any passes across the mountains nearest them, but that is a combination of them not having any that are quite as good as either of the ones in the east, and them not having the manpower to improve, maintain, and defend the ones they do have. The dwarves in particular probably are working on something, but even with magical assistance it's a pretty arduous task unless you have a clear reason for investing all the time and effort. Alannah doesn't actually know much about what lies on the other side of the northern and western ranges. It's likely that something is there, but travel in those directions is sufficiently difficult that nobody really bothers to try.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

MinusInnocence
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Do the halflings have any idea of where Eulan's stash might be? The bric-a-brac he doesn't carry with him, I mean. Maybe we could get lucky and find what we're looking for in an old shoebox stuffed under his bed, and leave an I.O.U.

"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats." - H.L. Mencken

deadDMwalking
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I favor moving in his direction, lending aid in his fight, and hoping that he'll be willing to gift it to us if our help is sufficiently worthwhile.

Darker

I, the player, second that. Fighting goblins furthers one of our goals and seems like lending aid might provide a boon of a gift (or at least trade for payment) for a figurine if he has one. Alannah just thinks it sounds like fun.

MinusInnocence
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Oskav is really only interested in the necklace so if borrowing it without Eulan knowing isn't on the table, I guess finding him and helping him do whatever dumb shit he's busy with is our next best option.

"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats." - H.L. Mencken

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

Chuul just wants Cole, but he sees these bits of cone as the best way to get to him currently. He'll favor any plan that has a good chance of getting us more of the necklace.

HVB

In her infinite wisdom, Kya favors a trip to Mooreville or wherever Cole entered the spirit realm. With the moon at its fullest soon he may resurface and they'd miss him trying to track this bone guy. She has faith that there is a more proactive and direct way of drawing him out of the spirit world and maybe a shaman might be able to help and we could use the full moon to our advantage.
As a player I dont care what we do in particular, but I thought checking on golden sheaves was on the agenda so maybe we should at least do that.

Darker

Northeast does put the party closer to both Golden Sheaves and Mooreville, so it's not unreasonable to either go north to Golden Sheaves to check in and then east or north east to find Eulan. Or go straight North East. Alannah is going to be in favor of the route that gives the party the most nights in beds.

Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

Avar would prefer help with the fight against the goblins. Checking in on Golden Sheaves would work too but, other than a situational rep, there isn't much more Avar can offer there.

Talanall
Talanall's picture

MinusInnocence wrote:

Do the halflings have any idea of where Eulan's stash might be? The bric-a-brac he doesn't carry with him, I mean. Maybe we could get lucky and find what we're looking for in an old shoebox stuffed under his bed, and leave an I.O.U.

It's within the realm of likelihood that his stash is, if not stuffed in a box under his bed at home, then in the keeping of his family and friends. So, probably wherever it is that Clan Barnstead has camped its non-combatants.

The halflings here either don't know or aren't willing to talk to strangers about where, exactly, such a lightly-defended but wealthy camp might be. Damned unsporting of them.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Darker wrote:

Northeast does put the party closer to both Golden Sheaves and Mooreville, so it's not unreasonable to either go north to Golden Sheaves to check in and then east or north east to find Eulan. Or go straight North East. Alannah is going to be in favor of the route that gives the party the most nights in beds.

Going east-northeast as the halflings suggest would not actually bring you closer to either Golden Sheaves or Morville. They aren't exactly the opposite direction from the region where Eulan is likely to be hanging around, but they're not close.

If you went due east from Golden Sheaves, then you could hit the same general area, but you first would spend most of a day heading away from there to get to Golden Sheaves from Winterhome. It's not in any sense on your way. Going to Golden Sheaves will cost you time, probably a full day when all's said and done.

Morville is around 100 miles away from your current location, as the crow flies, and going to see Eulan is not going to bring you closer.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

HVB

According to Google maps it should take about 24 hours to walk from winterhome to mooreville with the usual traffic.

This doesn't really seem like a time sensitive issue where a few days to golden sheaves will set us back drastically considering we have no idea where Eulan is in that expanse to begin with and there will be no beds.

HVB

Not to push for going to golden sheaves or anything, I just remember it was brought up to check in there for some reason, and chasing Eulan across the steppe isn't extremely time sensitive and may likely require preparation on our part

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