Chapter 17: A Small-Town Girl (OOC)

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Talanall
Talanall's picture
Chapter 17: A Small-Town Girl (OOC)
Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

*gets turnt*

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

What's on the menu tonight?

Talanall
Talanall's picture

The usual bill of fare at the Copper Crosier consists of a choice between roasted or braised mutton or pork, with seasonal vegetables. That's true of the current offerings; there's a choice between a rosemary pork roast or a lamb shoulder roast with garlic prune sauce. Either one comes with baby carrots and a salad of young greens with nuts, as well as a small roll.

A special is available for 6 sp tonight. Snails cooked in the elvish fashion, served with fresh bread, fiddlehead ferns, and a green salad.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

deadDMwalking
deadDMwalking's picture

Snails ain't animals. Garren will avail himself of that.

I'm also slow - as the video was concluding I realized it was 'pipers' not 'peppers'. I was wondering if Flea and friends had a secret bagpipe fetish I didn't know about.

Talanall
Talanall's picture

I think Flea and friends are mostly into heroin and groupies.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

They live a charmed life.

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Alright, it's been quiet for nearly two days, so I'll move right along.

Random - FL8hrDi;FL8hrDiNo;FL8hrNo
I rolled 1d100, the result is 55 = 55.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 44 = 44.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 14 = 14.
I rolled 1d8, the result is 7 = 7.
I rolled 1d8, the result is 1 = 1.
2x - 1400, 1600
I rolled 1d100, the result is 95 = 95.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 8 = 8.
I rolled 1d3, the result is 2 = 2.
Meteor-8hr
I rolled 1d100, the result is 64 = 64.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 79 = 79.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 53 = 53.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 16 = 16.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 16 = 16.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 76 = 76.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 71 = 71.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 27 = 27.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 71 = 71.
14Vdl973:0801-1600:CaFr
I rolled 1d100, the result is 81 = 81.
15vdl973:1601-2400:CaFr
I rolled 1d100, the result is 46 = 46.
15vdl973:0001-0800:CaFr
I rolled 1d100, the result is 14 = 14.
15vdl985:1601-2400:CaFr
I rolled 1d100, the result is 49 = 49.
Random - CP1hrDi;
I rolled 1d100, the result is 11 = 11.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 58 = 58.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 44 = 44.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 94 = 94.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 36 = 36.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 16 = 16.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 38 = 38.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 6 = 6.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 24 = 24.
Dist;Quant
I rolled 6d6, the result is 1, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1 = 14.
I rolled 2d10-4, the result is 6, 3, -4 = 5.
Mag1-5
I rolled 1d20-8, the result is 7, -8 = -1.
I rolled 1d20-8, the result is 4, -8 = -4.
I rolled 1d20-8, the result is 12, -8 = 4.
I rolled 1d20-8, the result is 10, -8 = 2.
I rolled 1d20-8, the result is 10, -8 = 2.
CP1hrDi
I rolled 1d100, the result is 86 = 86.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 23 = 23.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 32 = 32.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 27 = 27.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 45 = 45.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 65 = 65.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 79 = 79.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 39 = 39.
CP1hrNo
I rolled 1d100, the result is 42 = 42.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 89 = 89.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 37 = 37.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 79 = 79.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 88 = 88.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 31 = 31.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 59 = 59.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 7 = 7.
I rolled 1d100, the result is 9 = 9.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Starting tomorrow afternoon and extending through until the afternoon of Wednesday of next week, I expect to be unavailable due to a travel obligation. I will appreciate your patience with the delay.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

deadDMwalking
deadDMwalking's picture

Garren spends some of the time devoted to idle chitchat to talk about combat encounters we've had as a group and the contributions individuals have made. Kya might need to know that stuff.

Darker

Alannah is taking a 10 on a diplomacy check if one is needed.

Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

Alannah keeps talking about Avar like that then Oskav's wet dream will become a reality.

Darker

Alannah might be worried if Avar had smite chaos instead of smite evil.

Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

He's getting there.

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

Once our conversation is over, Chuul will remove his shirt and attack the wood pile. These people aren't going to be cold any time soon. Chuul doesn't see Kya being particularly good at splitting wood as she's volunteered to do, but he certainly won't complain if she wants to help jockey away the wood as Chuul splits it. The time it takes to split wood is usually 25% moving logs into splitting position, 25% splitting them and 50% picking up split wood and moving it to a stack, so it'd actually be quite helpful.

Talanall
Talanall's picture

Bungee cords made it soooo much easier for me.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

HVB

Kya will help move and stack up the firewood, she'll try to split some of the logs to see how she does.

Darker

Try it with an unarmed karate chop.

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

But you have to yell "JUDO CHOP!" every time or it doesn't count. I don't make the rules.

deadDMwalking
deadDMwalking's picture

My first job was at a mailing store (mailboxes, shipping, etc). One of our regular customers shipped horse semen all over the country.

Are there any clerical spells that preserve the essence and/or is there any type of artificial insemination performed in this world? If gentle repose were an option for preservation, it would extend the virility of the sample for 6 days.

What I'm saying is if there is any way we can get Alannah stuck with the job of collecting the sample I really want to see it happen.

Edit - regarding horse doctoring, Garren has a +11 Heal, and a +5 Knowledge (nature), but nothing for Handle Animal. Does that make him okay at horse doctoring?

HVB

I was going to mention the frozen semen route, but I'd hope horse breeding is fairly low on the list of priorities (which did include two or three of the characters getting laid, none of which was Sir Fluffernutter iirc)

Talanall
Talanall's picture

I have always been of the opinion that there must be various sorts of magic concerned with fertility in any well-realized fantasy world. The only exemplars I can think of in the Core Rules for 3.5 edition have to do with plant life, but that's really not so surprising given that the game is supposedly for players of all ages.

Certainly there's plenty of inspirational matter in fantasy novels and movies. Magical encouragement for a pregnancy shows up in Arthurian legend, just for one example, making it pretty venerable. And on the obverse of that, magical abortifacients also seem like things that probably exist in a fantasy setting where people have the appropriate sort of control over magical forces.

We haven't seen such things in the games I've run or am running in the Tolrea setting, but that's mostly because the characters in my current and past campaigns have not been sexually active during the scope of time covered by these games. They certainly exist in the setting, but I haven't gone to the trouble of turning them into a formal set of spells, items, Craft (alchemy) or Heal skill applications etc. because there has been no demand for them.

Or . . . well. The countryside in the Kingdom of Enteria was full of direct evidence for the existence of this general kind of magic during the Cataclysm campaign. I don't suppose you guys really WANTED to frolic with tentacle monsters, but that happened anyway because I thought it would be funny.

Anyway, gentle repose is the only Core spell that appears to have effects even remotely similar to what'd be required to support a fantastical approach to artificial insemination. It seems ambiguous to me whether it would be useful. I would tolerate its use to preserve the output of a clone spell or the cubic inch of flesh needed as a component for that spell, because clone doesn't call for a living sample. Merely one that has not begun to rot. This also appears to be the concern at hand for its application in preserving a corpse for raise dead.

I probably would not rule it applicable to a scenario calling for viable tissue, such as in artificial insemination, or to preserve blood for a vampire to feed on, or some similar case of that nature.

This isn't to discount the possibility that there may be a suitable spell floating around somewhere in the Tolrea setting. Offhand, I think that the clergy of Merthia or the Nameless God would be the most likely religious bodies to have knowledge of that kind of magic, since they both have status as agricultural deities whose worshipers are serious about animal husbandry. Of the two, Merthia's faith probably would be more versed in such matters and better known to Garren. There may also be arcane solutions to the challenge, either already in existence in some obscure repository of spells, or awaiting research by some enterprising magus.

I would imagine such a spell to be at least a level or two more powerful than gentle repose, which would account for the reason why it isn't already in common use in the setting. Spellcasters capable of 3rd- or 4th-level spells aren't exactly thin on the ground, but not every such spellcaster would have access to this particular sort of magic. So it'd be rare. Magic items based on a putative 3rd-level spell that preserves viability would price at 30,000 to 60,000 gp, depending how I parse the creation rules. That probably embodies prohibitive expense unless you posit the existence of some kind of fanatical equine equivalent of the Bene Gesserit. I find the idea unconvincing.

IRL, artificial insemination in an animal was first achieved on an experimental basis in the late 18th century. But that involved a fresh, uh, sample. But there was no further progress until something like 1935, which was the first instance in which a sample was extracted, transported a long distance by plane, and then used elsewhere. I'm not sure . Not for lack of trying; there was https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilya_Ivanovich_Ivanov, who memorably tried to crossbreed humans and apes and is a bit of an inspiration for the Kingdom of Enteria. I particularly love it that his research was derailed because his "last orangutan" died on him. Ivanov is probably the single best argument I could ask for in favor of a Pony Gesserit, just because he's proof that yes, there really are people who are that specific type and degree of crazy.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Talanall
Talanall's picture

We'll say Avar is collecting eggs from the hen house. Does he take his armor off first? Just curious.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

There's about to be a Link vs The Chickens scene here, I just know it.

Talanall
Talanall's picture

This farm has secretly been taken over by the faeries. The chickens were replaced by basilisks and are going to turn Avar to stone when he tries to steal their eggs.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

To make that potentially easier, yes, Avar will remove his armor. DM fiat if he needs to be totally nude.

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

Not that Avar has yet seen, but Chuul has shown a remarkable willingness to be seen nude. This farm's gonna gain a very effective coat rack when the basilisks are finished with him.

Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

I thought I had checked before but, upon review, no dice. So Avar will try to pull up some of his limited theological training and try to recall the tribute given. Assuming the die roller works with me that is.

I rolled 1d20+6, the result is 19, 6 = 25.
Talanall
Talanall's picture

Avar doesn't believe he has any reason to be concerned that the Fifalls are cultists of Welerus.

Offhand, Avar can easily pick out references to over half the Celestial Court in this prayer. Merthia is obvious, because she's called out by name. Oceus is nearly as easy, being mentioned by his most common epithet, the "All-Seeing," before being addressed directly as the Charioteer of the Sun. Those are nearly impossible to miss, as is the reference to Herenus, the boatman of the dead. The fact that Merthia and Oceus figure so prominently in this prayer isn't really a surprise, given that they're the two most important deities with respect to the concerns of farmers and other country people.

Less obviously, this invocation also calls upon Agon, Derena, and Corones as a protective triad, by its references to gate (Agon), hearth (Corones), and moon's glow (Derena). It's very common to hear Derena invoked alongside Agon as a deity of protection, in Avar's time. He's not accustomed to hearing Corones join them.

The Cult of the Remaker isn't evil—if anything, Avar thinks their hearts are in the right place as far as wanting to help people. But they're also dangerous anarchists who want to do away with many of the traditional mechanisms that Aureshan society uses to keep itself running smoothly, rather than reform them from within. Also, fire is dangerous, as anyone who's been near a large city knows very well.

Conspicuously, this prayer does not mention several deities of the Celestial Court. Lereina, Mistress of Coins, is completely absent. Likewise Ekar, usually referred to euphemistically as the Master of Secrets. And Vella, the Mad Witch, rounds out the complement of deities that the Fifalls clan simply doesn't talk about.

The presence of Welerus in this prayer (and the fact that this family actually makes an offering to him) is probably owed to the sheer antiquity of this prayer. If Harder Fifalls's grandfather came from the Aureshan Empire and settled here, then he probably emigrated shortly before or shortly after the beginning of a civil war that lasted for an excruciating three decades.

Far from being an indication that the celebrant is an adherent of the Cult of Welerus, pouring out a libation (or pricking your finger to offer a few drops of blood) to the Worm of Hatred is a sign of concern about warding off bloodshed, whether that comes as a result of war, or a feud with your neighbors or family, or as a result of some kind of business dispute. If there were crack dealers in Port Hope, part of a normal drug deal would include spilling a little of their own blood to keep Welerus well-fed and sleepy.

The main thing that's weird about the Fifalls' custom of offering libations to Welerus is that they're just doing it as part of their routine prayer before meals.

That's not something regular people do in the Aureshan Empire, and it doesn't seem to be current practice in Port Hope. In fact, Avar has personally experienced a case where Elena Markan, who's a real law-and-order type that Avar apparently also wants to wear like a hat, just waved off ritual bloodshed as part of signing a contract.

But these people live on a frontier and Avar has already seen evidence that the men, in particular, have preserved a tradition of some sort of militia training—even though the farmers that the Bastards met earlier today said things that would seem to indicate that there is no militia around here. And that's not even getting into whatever it was that made Hamas so oddly knowledgeable about the Wild Hunt.

This family definitely is pretty fucking weird, is what I'm saying. But none of this necessarily means that Harder and his kinfolk are hiding any kind of nefarious secrets from you; there could be any number of perfectly harmless explanations for all this weirdness being piled in one spot.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

HVB

What season is it?

Talanall
Talanall's picture

It's 18 days until the summer solstice, so from an astronomical point of view, it's currently late spring. From a meteorological/climate point of view, it's already early summer, and the weather is likely to gradually trend hotter for about another month and a half before it starts cooling down as the season draws toward autumn.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

Is shorties a slang Avar would know? Its difficult to know, as a player, what Tolrean slang is for IC posting. Should I just make knowledge checks all of the time?

Talanall
Talanall's picture

There are several valid ways to handle unexplained slang.

Avar could ask In Character, which has the advantage of giving him a reason to elicit further information with the NPC who used the slang, as well as playing up the fact that Avar is something of a foreigner.

You also could ask me Out of Character whether Avar knows what is a "shorty." If I think it's warranted, I'll ask you for a Knowledge check, but often I won't bother with that.

Fifalls has previously tended to refer to goblins as "clemmies," which I think is a term Avar certainly would know to be a racial slur for goblins. It's directed at their skin tone, which usually is a shade of yellow, orange, or red. "Clemmie" is short for the citrus fruit known as the clementine.

Despite Fifalls's past use of that particular slur, in context I think Avar's decision to construe "shorty" to mean "goblin" is pretty reasonable. Fifalls was talking about warfare between two races that both are Small sized, so it may not have been as clear to everyone else as he assumed it would be when he called halflings "shorties" and assumed that this would differentiate them from "clemmies," who also happen to be short.

A third possibility would be for Avar to roll a Sense Motive check, because Hamas seems like he's pretty upset about something, and Avar may be perceptive enough to tell whether Hamas is upset with Avar, his father, or something else entirely (which I think is what motivated you to ask this question in the first place, because I think you would like it if Avar didn't come across as clueless this time around).

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Talanall
Talanall's picture

To expand upon the last option a bit: a Knowledge (local) check USUALLY won't be necessary if all you want to know is the meaning of a term like "clemmie," "pork," or "knife-ear" (respectively, they mean goblin, orc, or elf). A successful check may make your character aware that these terms are actually racial slurs, and maybe give a relative sense of how offensive they are.

Sense Motive would allow you to glean the same sense that these are racial slurs, by reading the expression, tone of voice, etc. of not only the speaker but of other characters. In this case, Hamas is probably the best set of tells available to you.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

Thanks, and you're right, I didn't want Avar to ask for clarification IC if it was something most folk know. Either way, Avar still looks clueless but, it is what it is I suppose.

I'll roll the sense motive now on Hamas.

SM v. Hamas
I rolled 1d20+7, the result is 1, 7 = 8.
Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

I literally laughed out loud when that post posted with the roll. Avar truly is clueless.

Talanall
Talanall's picture

If it helps, Avar doesn't know why Hamas is in a snit, but he didn't roll so poorly that he draws a false impression of what's the matter.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

Maybe Kya can figure it out while she's handling his woo...err, while they're at the wood pile.

Darker

What DOES Alannah know about halfling tribal structures?
Knowledge (Local) +3 for how they are now?
Knowledge (History) +7 for anthropological info
Bardic Knowledge +15

Also Knowledge (Local) +3 to see if Alannah knows anything of the chief and
Bardic Knowledge +15 to see if the chief is famous enough to have songs, poems, stories about him.

I rolled 1d20+3, the result is 2, 3 = 5.
I rolled 1d20+7, the result is 17, 7 = 24.
I rolled 1d20+15, the result is 14, 15 = 29.
I rolled 1d20+3, the result is 19, 3 = 22.
I rolled 1d20+15, the result is 7, 15 = 22.
Talanall
Talanall's picture

Alannah doesn't know anything about halfling tribal structures, or at least nothing that she considers helpful. Historical sources that discuss the halfling nomads usually do so in terms of their clan identities, which are extended familial relationships. Members of a halfling clan all have the same surname (so Barnstead would be this guy's clan).

Insofar as she knows anything about tribes, she's pretty sure that people aren't born into their tribes, but rather are chosen (or possibly the prospective member does the choosing). And she's pretty sure that tribal chieftains are elected for life, and that the position confers a variety of legal, spiritual, and political benefits and obligations. Her impression from old lore about halfling chieftains is that the tribal chiefs are some kind of ruling council, and that people are more likely to be elected chief if they're either personally wealthy or come from a well-to-do clan.

Alannah also has a really distinct impression that a tribal chieftain's word can have the force of law for members of his tribe. So overall, she's inclined to think that "tribe" is really some kind of political affiliation, and that it may be what passes for government with the shorties.

Also, she's quite sure that nomadic halflings like Eulan Barnsley are culturally dissimilar from sedentary halflings. The latter are culturally Aureshan.

Wæs se grimma gæst Grendel haten,
mære mearcstapa, se þe moras heold

HVB

Kya isn't going to press the issue of what might be on this guy's mind if he's not going to drop hints that make it obvious that he wants to talk about something. If he wants to be alone she will go back inside and try not to say anything that would incur more eye rolls from Alannah (which is unlikely)

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

That's quitter talk right there. She should push through until he wants to talk. Maybe start by telling him how nice he looks. Then, once he finally opens up, she can continue on tooooooooohhhhhhh.... and now I suddenly understand feminism.

HVB

Yah it might be her best chance for a while traveling with this merry band of charisma dumpers..

Darker

Damn, its like Avar isn't even here.

Board Rider
Board Rider's picture

He is, he is just keeping quiet.

HVB

Darker wrote:

Damn, its like Avar isn't even here.


Ok 16 cha, and he did take off all his armour so there's that...
MinusInnocence
MinusInnocence's picture

Plot twist: Kya forged this dude's signature for her letter of introduction to the party so she could escape an abusive relationship.

HVB

In my experience it would be the easiest way to escape one. The real abuse here is making her talk about makiwara training. That's the extent of my martial arts knowledge, so everything else she's just gonna make up and no one can question it.

HVB

I feel bad, Kya's been talking to this guy for a week. Don't let me stop you all from doing stuff.

Darker

The alternative is for Alannah to spend the week bitching about Oskav and Avar, so this is likely better.

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

Chuul is eating. Real food. And little chance that some ambusher is going to jump out at him while he chews. It's one of his favorite things.

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