Unhinged Rants abut Trivial Things

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deadDMwalking
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Unhinged Rants abut Trivial Things

It is my contention that everybody, no matter how objectively wonderful their life, deserves to complain. You could have the most amazing time as an in-demand adult actor and if you want to complain about how sometimes you're chaffed from all of the amazing sex you're having with pornstars, you deserve that right! And now that I'm turning 40, rather than yell at the kids that walk across my lawn, I figured I'd lodge my complaints in the hinterlands of the internet. Now be warned - these are not rantings about things that really matter like politics or the nature of man, cosmology, philosophy or physics. These are about things that bother me on a fundamental level for considered reasons, but they're basically pointless. And even though I KNOW how trivial they are, they are important to me. Not in a pet peeve way, but in a 'if we can't solve racism at least we can fix these things' way. And since they're so unimportant, they'll be presented in no particular order. Just whatever I want to get off my chest on a particular day.

First up: Folding Towels

Now, you can look online and you'll find various guides of how to fold towels and they'll tell you there are myriad ways to do it. They are wrong. There is only one way to fold a bath towel, and it never involves folding it in half. The correct way involves holding the towel vertically against your chest or laying it down on a flat surface and folding it over 1/3 lengthwise; then folding the other third over the first. At this point you have a towel that is 1/3 the width of the unfolded towel, but the original length. Now simply fold the towel bottom third of the towel toward the middle, followed by the top. At this point the dimensions of the towel are 1/9th the original size. This towel is perfect for stacking - it is piled deeply enough to look inviting but is compact enough to make your closet look neat and organized. It is perfect - without flaw.

Now, despite how this is the only correct way to fold a towel, there are people that fold them in half lengthwise, then in half widthwise (which is backward besides being wrong) so you have a towel that is 1/4 the size of the unfolded towel. That's hideous. Even for small towels that's wrong. Even hand towels deserve the 1/3 fold along its length [ie, widthwise], but they can be given a half fold as the exception that proves the rule for length. It also shouldn't be alternated in half each way until you find that it is 'small enough'. A properly folded towel, if held on the upper facing section, will unfold neatly and be ready to use; a re-quartered towel will have to be unwrapped in a brain-destroying extra-dimensional geography - and this is spoken by someone who NEVER struggles with proper map folding.

I think that our high schools ought to teach proper folding of clothes as a requirement to graduate and they should not neglect towels. The Hitchhiker's Guide tells us that a man who knows where his towel is commands respect; a man who can fold it properly takes that game to a whole new level.

Fixxxer
Fixxxer's picture

Well, you're not gonna like this, but I roll my towels rather than folding them.

Board Rider
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Curious, what is your take on storing socks? Perhaps, more importantly, what do you consider the correct way to place a roll of TP on the roller?

deadDMwalking
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Fixxxer wrote:

Well, you're not gonna like this, but I roll my towels rather than folding them.

Technically, they're not folded in that case. I still recommend you fold them into thirds lengthwise before rolling them. That's the important part.

Curious, what is your take on storing socks?

I used to fold my socks by laying one over the other and than folding them in half. I have since learned that the best thing is to lay them one over the other and then pull one of them OVER the other, kinda like it's engulfing it's pair like a purple worm. They stay together and even if you toss your sock drawer you'll still have your pairs.

Board Rider wrote:

Perhaps, more importantly, what do you consider the correct way to place a roll of TP on the roller?

This is not something I have any strong opinions about. I usually prefer the toilet paper hanging over the top, rather than hanging behind, but I also have had cats and it's much easier for them to unroll it the way I prefer it. So for practical reasons, I can't fault someone for opting for it coming from underneath/behind.

Cronono
Cronono's picture

Do you assert this stance for all towels? Beach towels, hand towels, bath towels? What about square towels used as washcloths?

deadDMwalking
deadDMwalking's picture

A washcloth does not qualify as a towel.

Though in my desire to explore my neuroses I decided to start watching Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. I've only watched one episode and I was disappointed that the first couple didn't have ANY BOOKS, which is one whole stage of her process.

What was interesting is that she recommends folding shirts and such into a relatively small rectangle that can stand up; instead of stacking folded clothes on top of each other in a drawer, you can see them all at the same time.

In my case, virtually the only t-shirts I wear are undershirts; they are all exactly the same and taking one off the top is exactly like taking one from the bottom, so I don't need to have access to all of them individually.

Cronono
Cronono's picture

I think you've stumbled into a truly confrontational and (in my opinion) unhinged statement here.

deadDMwalking wrote:

A washcloth does not qualify as a towel.

This seems arbitrary to me. It certainly qualifies under the dictionary definition:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/towel

They're sold as part of many towel bundles on Amazon, suggesting that when people think about towels they include washcloths in that definition:

https://www.amazon.com/washcloths/b?ie=UTF8&node=3731741

However, I don't think quibbling over the specific example is necessary to discuss the larger point. Towels have different dimensions. Should all cloths follow the exact same folding methodology?

deadDMwalking
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I don't think saying a washcloth isn't a towel is arbitrary. A towel is for drying off; a washcloth is for scrubbing.

Per the same dictionary. Amazon doesn't offer a set of '2 bath, 2 hand, and 4 wash towels' - the washcloths are part of the set but not, themselves, towels.

The towels that I have include Bath Sheets (35x70), Bath Towels (30x58), and hand towels (16x30). All of these benefit from a tri-fold first. If I want to maintain virtually equal widths, I could do the hand towels in their length first in which case I could consider a half-fold along the width; that'd give me a towel 8x10 after folding, and it would be okay on a 10x20 Bath Towel or ~12x23 bath sheet.

For things like Tablecloths and Tarps, it's a good rule to follow. When you fold in both sides, you don't have a seam - so things are less likely to fall out (or climb in).